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Breaking Up and Moving On

brokenheart

Wow, I’ve received SO many great questions from you guys that it was seriously tough to choose which to respond to first! Thanks to each of you for putting yourselves out there so we could get this ball rolling!!

Of course, my posts are just my thoughts and opinions. At the end of the day, we all have to do what we feel is right for us, but I hope you’re able to benefit at least a little from my experiences!

I chose this topic first because breakups suck and I’ve totally been there!!!

Q: Hi Kaitlynn, I was just wondering about your past and if you’ve ever been heart broken? How do you get past the rejection of him moving on and how do you deal with that with class? Have you ever had a situation like this where you are thankful that you are with Brody now and you are thankful that you didn’t stick with your ex?

The simple answer is yes, I’ve been through an awful break up and yes, I am so grateful to be where I am now.

What I’ve learned is this:

You always end up better off. There is a reason every relationship that doesn’t work, doesn’t work. Whether you didn’t want it (ok) or the person you were dating didn’t want it (bummer), it wasn’t meant to be! But there is a relationship that is meant to be for you. You’ve just got to be patient.

I wanted to feel better so fast after my last break up that I immediately started going on dates. I think it’s a great idea to stay busy when you are first single, but my suggestion would be to avoid dating right away and instead spend lots of time with your girlfriends/family/friends. For me, dating was depressing because I wasn’t that into anyone, so I would think about my ex even more.

It took a few months, but eventually I was so happy just hanging with my girlfriends and doing my own thing that dating dropped wayyy down on my list of priorities. I was having the time of my life! And that’s when I met my boyfriend now, Brody.

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Of course, I couldn’t be happier, but again… patience. No one gets over a break up overnight, so take your time, be grateful for all the time you now have to do literally whatever you want to do all the time, and eventually you will end up where and with who you are meant to! You know that saying, “You have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else?” Live by that!!

And in terms of handling your breakup with class, I make it a rule to never publicly speak badly about anyone I’ve dated (meaning limit your thoughts to your closest friends). Even if you hate the person’s guts(!!!), at one point the two of you shared something special and the details are worth keeping private. Everyone will, at the very least, respect you for taking the high road.

xx

 

38 comments

  • brilliant!!

  • For someone who isn’t a professional, this is an excellent answer. I love the mature part of not bash talking the ex. Keep it classy ladies. This will be my favourite part of the blog!!

  • I love how you answered this. I would agree with it all. That would have been my advice to her as well. BTW…Loving your new blog!

  • I love how you answered this. I would agree with it all. That would have been my advice to her as well. BTW…Loving your new blog!

  • Such a great response, it’s always better to avoid saying negative things about people and understand that there was something special at one point, it’s just wasn’t meant to continue.

  • What do you do when you feel like your stuck in a relationship? Like when you feel like you don’t know what you would do with out them but at the same time you know your probably better off without them!

  • I love the answer! !!

  • Currently getting over a relationship of 7 years. Very, very hard time for me. Thanks for this, I needed to hear it. Though I tell myself this over and over, it always helps to hear it from someone else and know that others have been through it and understand the pain.

  • I just recently broke things off with my now ex-boyfriend of 3 years after I caught him lying to me about his where abouts for the second weekend in a row. He swears he didn’t cheat and is trying to play it off that he was only there to pick someone up, but all the evidence is there that is lying to me. I found pictures and his story just doesn’t add up. Why would he drive 45 minutes out of his way to pick a friend up from a rave party and just happen to be wearing clothes that fit the scene? Not to mention the photos that clearly show a wrist band around his arm. He lied to me about a similar situation the previous weekend, however my girlfriend sent me photos of him at the club hugging a random girl, so he ended up confessing but had the excuss that his friend was driving and it was spontanious so he didn’t have a choice and he had a miserable time, so I let it go and forgave him for lying. I just really don’t know if he is lying to me this time or telling the truth. I don’t know what to do. He sent me roses and keeps reminding me how much he loves me but I feel like I might be getting played. I really do love him but I need honesty in my life and I can’t trust him at all. I’m breaking inside. Am I making a mistake by letting him go? Do you think he is telling the truth? Thank you for your advice. Break ups suck 🙁

    • A tough situation, but building a relationship imbedded with lies, is like building a house on swampland.

    • He is cheating on you. I am so so sorry sweety. I say this as a woman who dated MANY assholes and always believed their bull. It wasn’t until I settled down with the kindest most gentle man I have ever met much later in life that I was able to see through their lies, but I promise he is lying and you will be much happier without him if you give yourself time to heal.

  • Love it! It’s so true, that time is the only way to get over things but I like your perspective of letting yourself be okay independent. Such a key message that so many girls miss… Break ups are the worst, but this is some advice I wish l could see every girl follow.

  • Thank you so much!!! I just broke up with my boyfriend literally yesterday and this helped a lot with my attitude towards it.

  • Love your blog!

  • This is great! Im beginning to go thru a breakup and this advice gave me 100% confidence to be able to go thru with it. Especially when you say you always end up better off~Thanks!

  • Kaitlynn- the quote you used “you have to love yourself to love someone else,” how exactly did you start to love yourself?

    I have been single now for a while. I have “dated” but nothing serious and the relationships never went anywhere. I am 24 and kind of feeling hopeless. I want to find that special guy.

  • Excellent advice Kaitlynn . You are wicked awesome!! And a very talented writer, fun and mature,

  • What a great answer Kaitlynn! you are one classy gal 🙂

  • Wow !! Great answer 🙂 exacly what I needed to hear.

    Thanks Kaitlynn,
    Xx

  • I know i have to, but it is so hard…

  • This was an awesome read!

    http://www.FashionSnag.com

  • Love it, that’s exactly how all women & men should think! I’m a true believer that everything does happen for a reason.

  • Hello there, You’ve performed an excellent job. I’ll certainly digg it and individually suggest to my friends. I am sure they will be benefited from this site.

  • Great response Kaitlynn. I wonder if an answer from a professional on each topic might not also be a good idea, and useful for your many readers? Perhaps it could be pulled from the many internet sources available?

    • I have thought about this for some of the more complicated questions! I think it’s a good idea!

  • Perfect answer!!!

  • “Don’t speak bad about him in public” sparkles of wisdom ⭐️

  • Thanks for this. I’m going through a breakup after being with a wonderful guy for 6 years. We are both good people, we were just too different in the end to make it work. It really is the hardest though. I’m so sad. Needed to read this today so thank you.

  • Thanks! Needed to read that today…..
    TELL US HOW YOU & Brody met???

  • So down to earth like honestly you do ins

  • So down to earth you inspire me to get past this coast and travel like iv always wanted too and plan too but school first. Your not only perfect but your cool af

  • You have no idea how much I needed to read this. My boyfriend of four years left me almost two weeks ago and it’s been horrible. Obviously i’m powering on through as best as I can but I needed to read this as I felt like it would never get better. I just want to be able to smile again. And I did a little reading this so thank you Kaitlynn, keep up the great work!

  • thank you for this kaitlynn! i needed this.
    how do you stay so strong when you have to see your ex bf move onto other girls?

  • Wow I love this!!

  • Loved this answer! So helpful. I was wondering your thoughts on staying friendly with exes and is it wrong to ignore an ex’s text?

    • I think this just depends on where you are emotionally with an ex. If you still want to be dating that person (or they still want to date you), then I don’t think staying friendly is the best idea. If you’ve both moved on then why not be friendly, as long as you’re being respectful to the new people you’re dating!

  • This post is exactly what I needed to read. Its been 4 months since I have broken up with my ex, and I thought it would be a good idea to slowly start dating. Wrong! So to keep busy I have been focusing on my studies, working out at the gym, and planning social events with my girlfriends. Thanks for the advice!!xo

  • This advice is spot on! Maintaining a level of dignity and class post break-up is a challenge most people face. It’s also key to finding a new relationship. No one wants to share his or her life with a person who will potentially use it as ammunition later. The same rule applies to losing a job–It’s just always better to take the high road.

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